It felt a little strange rolling out of the drive on a Tuesday morning about the same time I would normally be heading off to work, as this time I was heading off for a week of self-indulgence. Over the last week I’d bought, begged, borrowed and stashed stuff for the trip and as has happened in the past in the last few days I had a hint of sadness at leaving my two girls:

Just under three hours later I arrived at Perth’s domestic airport to pick Mark up, who had flown in from Melbourne. We had met this fella when we lived in Alice Springs and he would flit between the awesome winters of the Red Centre and the cooler summers of Tasmania. In the Alice guide I described him as ‘somewhat of a machine who some would claim never stops, not even to sleep’. But now with kids I wasn’t sure if this was still going to hold, although I already knew from our pre-trip chats that he had set a high bar:

There was another seven hours of travelling to be had, which including a stop or two. We were heading north, and once the big smoke was behind us the open road was long, straight and mostly featureless. Our destination was a place I had been to before with the girls, we went on a winter escape to the north and supposed warmth only to cut that trip short when a massive storm came in and tore up the town. At that time we did a bit of walking in the place we aimed to go on this trip but as I looked round the climbing potential didn’t jump out at me:

So after some 790km or 500 miles from home we got to the Kalbarri National Park and quickly got the tent set up. Unbeknown to many people you can camp in the park, and if you are a climber/hiker or part of a school group they have set up a campsite next to the Z-bends carpark. It’s a working progress but once complete will be pretty Schmick. For us it was rustic, out of the way and perfect the bonus being that for the week we stayed no one else used the campsite:

Seeing there was light left in the day we got down to business. The obvious route to start the adventures on was Keith goes Blank on Tourist Wall that is not far from the lookout. It is a highly regarded nice length trad route at grade 15. A good choice considering the last ten hours travelling for me, and longer for Mark. I led it and in my less than attentive state dropped my wires onto Mark early on. I soon recovered and it was a fun and good line to feel the rock and get a taste of what might be to come:

We slept well that night, early to bed was the way it started and that continued throughout the trip. We let our bodies tell us when we should get up and hit the sack and got into the rhythm of the sun. Most morning we were up by five and over the week our efficiency in the mornings improved to the point that within an hour we were walking to the crags. Not returning to the tents for at least another ten hours and sometimes more:

Our diet was in some ways plain. That said it was healthy and tasty, although I reckon when you spend a day outside everything taste amazing. Breakfast usually comprised eggs with greens, which started as spinach and then changed to kale. The stuff is great for you but you have to chew it relentlessly giving your jaw a great workout. All our meals and snacks were high in protein, and purposely so to keep us going:

Each morning we would take the short 600m tourist path to the lookout and from there slip down to the climbers path, passing the no access sign. This way took us in a more direct line to the cliffs near the lookout, but after our first climb there we never went back to do any more routes on that wall. For our first full day it made sense to check out the main climbing area, so once down in the gorge we kept walking:

Much of the rock in the gorge in the stretch we walked along looked pretty average for climbing, but the scenery was stunning. The contrast between the scrappy vegetated scree slopes, layered red brown rock and green water was amazing. It was a twenty minute walk tops and we brought a bit more gear down each day stashing it somewhere out of sight, until we only had to carry food and water in with us:

The area we aimed for included four main climbing walls called Adventure Wall (behind the tree), The Pit, Bison Wall and The Promenade. From our time here it became obvious that this was the highest concentration of good climbing, and it was where we headed to for five of our six days climbing. Info for this area is spread across three sources so we had come prepared with it all printed out, and once we got a handle of the place we soon got to know where most of it was:

We started with some trad on Adventure Wall, I again kicked off proceedings with 9-6=3 at grade 15 and then Mark jumped on Peanut Butter (19) – see below. Adventure Wall while initially not looking bad didn’t really grab us after the two climbs. Occasional loose rock, sandy sections and at times the gear was lacking. We scooped the other lines on the wall, and I did go back to one but overall it felt uninspiring. So after our warm up climbs we were going to head to the main event The Promenade. However, before we did that I jumped on the Rattler (22) a very fine but oh so short sport route in The Pit:

The Promenade is all about steep, strenuous sport climbing. Interestingly the image below belies the imposing angle of the wall, while the right hand routes were less steep those to the left were seriously steep to the point that sections were horizontal. It had thirteen routes ranging from 23 to 29, and when we first rounded the corner Mark’s eye lit up like a kid in a candy store, as he hungrily checked out the various lines wondering which to jump on first:

He plumped for the one of the classics of the crag, Heavy Petting. The WA guide gave it 25 but The Crag has dropped the grade to 23, regardless of grade Mark on-sighted his first line at The Prom with relative ease. As with the Rattler, Mark then pulled the rope through and said there was no top roping with sport climbing. The crux of the climb is probably the start and it felt hard but I worked a way through it, then once on the roof it was jugging all the way until the lip, which is where my tyring arms and head failed me:

We left the draws on that line as it was one for me to go back to and try and get clean, and so started the proceedings of The Promenade. Often there would be a line on which I would keep projecting while Mark continued to eat up the bigger routes. He did a couple of the less steep routes to the right. There were four grade 25 lines and that is where I did a lot of my playing. The route below has the unfortunately name of Fuck the Law but was a great line. I concentrated on this and the two lines to the left and in the end managed clean ascents to the last bolt on all of them. Each time I’d fail to have the stamina to do the final crux sequence without a rest:

Mark however was on fire and moved onto the steep roof section to bag another crag classic on-sighting Root Canal (26) – below. Way too steep for me to consider leading or even jumping on second, as the other lines I was tyring were wearing me down I would probably not have been very successful. So Mark back cleaned all the harder lines he led, and I observed and learnt this new technique that for roof climbs required the belayer to be actively involved. I did end the day on a clean ascent jumping on another short but fun sport route next to the Rattler called Obscene Gesture. At a modest grade 18 we had thought about leaving that as a warm up for another day, but it just felt like the right time to do it:

By the end of the first day we had both done approx. 8 lines (some were repeat ones) and based on the grades we were climbing it would be hard to do much more. So while we were down for ten hours plus we spent a lot of that time relaxing, eating and contemplating the next route and more so for me how to beat the demons stopping me from a few clean ascents. We also had a swim, and over the time here the swims became more frequent. In part this happened as it warmed up but it also made our bodies feel refreshed and made us eager to get back to it:

Back at camp we had a visitor. A curious but shy little echidna who seemed to want to get away from us to start with but then walked right up to Mark before burying his head into the sand. No doubt thinking if he couldn’t see us then we couldn’t see him. We didn’t see or hear too much at camp, it was so quiet with not even cicadas’ or insect buzzing. There was also and luckily only the very occasional mozzie. In the morning before light the birds would quietly chatter way but as it grew lighter they would quieten down. Just like our mornings we also got into an evening rhythm. It started with a cool beer to celebrate the days achievements, then dinner and a cuppa, sorting gear for the morning and by then as darkness was descending and we would hit the sack:

Lisa was wonderful to us and had prepared our food for the trip. She did so well that we only needed to top up on eggs and ice for the cool boxes. She put her vacuum pack gadget to work and we had a separate bag of greens for each dinner and breakfast. This helped them last longer and also meant that dinners were easy, whack in the meat and fish and add veggies. Then pile on extras which was mostly cheese, cheese and cheese. Hence, meal time were quick to make and as we mostly ate out of the pan quick to clear away. It looks like we were making a mountain of food but each night we devoured it, the only food I struggled with was the jaw testing kale:

Day two and back to the obvious place. We started with the last of the trio at the left end of The Pit, a grade 20 that has bamboozled some people. Escalade 3837730 is great with some slopey hold to start and a technical powerful move to get established on the arête. Very, very fine climbing indeed and probably the best of the three routes (i.e. the Rattler and Obscene Gesture). As before the rope was pulled for me to lead after Mark, I was certainly awake and warmed up after that:

While Mark was super keen to lead this next warm up trad line he did offer it to me. However, something was making me nervous and I can’t tell what it was but I declined. So he set off on this total fantastic grade 18 trad line called Feral Dog Boy. It’s the only climb we used twin ropes on and it was sooooo good with great positions and awesome unexpected moves. Interestingly despite having loved every bit of the climb I was not upset about having passed up the lead and didn’t feel the need to go back to it:

It was then my turn and I decided to give Adventure Wall one more opportunity to show us that it was a good spot. The trad grade 17 Morning Poetry was enough to put us both off this wall for the rest of the trip. Loose rock, runout sections and damn I was shattered working… no dogging my way up this line. It did have some good moves but overall neither of us rated the route or the wall. We never again looked at the myriad of lines on this wall, which people have managed to squeeze into this wall and at times are so close they can share holds:

So we decided to pack the trad rack and get the quick draws out for a lap on Bison Wall taking on Tribal Monkeys. A steep grade 23 route that was not quite as long as those at the Promenade but still packed a punch. After my nervous start of giving up a trad lead and dogging up another trad route I surprised myself and flashed this line. That was maybe because it was not quite so steep and had a good mix of jugging and technical climbing, but regardless of the reason I’ll take that! This boosted my confidence as we then moved round the corner back to The Promenade:

This image is of The Promenade from across the gorge, the big boulder to the right has a manic high top boulder problem on it up the vague arête and then traversing the top lip back towards the main wall of The Promenade. It’s high and looks scary, we didn’t even consider touching that. Mark carried on where he left off bagging an on-sight of the grade 24 It’s A Boy, probably one of the poorest lines on the wall. I did think about having a go on that line later on but I was wearing myself down on the other lines so didn’t end up getting onto it. I tried Heavy Petting again but despite fine tuning the lower crux move the final move again alluded me. I was however improving on the lower sections of those troublesome 25’s at the right hand end of the wall:

After a decent morning session, and when the sun had moved round sufficiently to shade the belay spot, we moved across the gorge for Mark to try the classic Kalbarri Gold. This trad grade 26 has an epic 8m roof crack, which is hard to read from below. Sections look parallel, deep, shallow, peapod, flaked, etc. Mark finally felt he had all the beta he could get from the ground so headed up and once at the roof proper had a go at getting the on-sight. He got part way out before gassing out trying figure the moves and from there on dogged his way out making sure he could pull all the sequences. I lost track of how long he was up there but eventually and getting close to the end of the roof, noting the crus is supposed to be at the very end he confessed defeat:

He back climbed to clean the gear, as there was no point me going up this route having seen how much he struggled. When he came down he reflected on the experience and while the variability of the crack had somewhat thrown him he simply put it down to needing to do more roof training. We didn’t go back to that route. We did however have a swim and then played on one more route at The Promenade. That was She Magic and Mark being tired only got to the last bolt, while I also achieved that I dogged my way up. Finally it was time to walk out. One thing that struck me about the gorge was the high variability in rock appearance and formations, this wall in particular grabbed my attention every time we walked past it. But whenever we did walk past it we either had a mission on or were too tired to pay it attention:

Day three and we came out of the blocks fighting, the warm up was what we thought was a retro-bolt of Don’t go Splat?. Some trad low down and then being sport above, I attempted it but the top headwall messed with my head too much and I backed off leaving Mark to nab the lead and me to then follow up on second. We graded it 22 as it seemed to take a different line to the original route, probably to avoid the nasty fall potential onto the block below. With my head somewhat in a daze we set off to hit the second sport line on Bison Wall called Thrutching the Bison. Similar in style to the last one on this wall and again at 23, and again which I managed to flash:

Now this whole area is home to an animal that we often use to see while climbing in Alice Springs, the black footed rock wallaby. This creature was thought to have died out here until some years back when climbers spotted and reported it. The rangers still permit climbing but not camping in the area they are known to live in. There are 17 movement cameras, some obvious like this one under the boulder next the Promenade and others not so easily seen. We bumped into the rangers on our last day in Kalbarri, as they were collecting data from these cameras and had a good old chat. I reckon it is pretty cool that they still permit climbers to do what we do, despite these little critters being in the area and at risk:

I’m pleased to say on this third day I also bagged, finally, Heavy Petting and as such was building up a good number of 23 ascents. So after bagging two in that morning I continued to play on the less steep 25s working them and working them and working them. Every sport climb we did we stick clipped the first bolt, I was told it is the way of things (over east). So I was learning and getting used to all the dark art tricks of this style of climbing, and just maybe a few people need to invest in a stick clip for Welly Dam. At times where clips looked dicey and landings not so great the stick was used to place the draws on higher bolts but never the rope, as was the case here:

Mark continued his rampage of the Promenade with the impressive Busting Down the Door going down on his second shot (grade 26). My sport belay technique was improving but what with the more intense climbing that Mark was doing I wasn’t able to concentrate on the photos as much as I do on my more relaxed days out. That said it stayed by my side and sneaky quick shots were taken when the opportunity arose, such as when he needed the finale of Busting Down the Door:

As I said we didn’t venture back across the gorge to Kalbarri Gold, which tackles the roof at the far left end of this buttress. We did however dip into that wonderful cool water numerous times. Mark was content that he had given it a good shot and that he was not up for the challenge. Looking on The Crag there is not one recorded clean ascent and this is what Mark put up as his recount: “This thing is sooo awesome and so damn painful! Much less consistent crack than expected with lots of finger locks and a few mega jugs. Got my ass thoroughly handed back to me in an epic blood and tear enducing dog fest! A return would require heaps more tape, a huge advancement in skill, tenacity, fitness, hardness and probably looks. A couple of knee pads would come in handy too… found a great invert double knee bar just before the final crux but my thighs were not up for the adventure in shorts. It was great, I was crap!”:

Before we walked out Mark decided to have a bash at Glass Slipper which goes at a lofty grade 29. It comprises a steep roof sections that “are not that hard” (ha ha ha) with two hard boulders cruxes, the second of which is completely horizontal. He didn’t get it on-sight but worked the moves and made it all the way out. Needless to say another line I was not contemplating on following out on, but he was keen to try again another day so we left the draws on this one and walked out:

As we departed we stopped in at The Runway which has a single sport route and a few newer lines on a small orange wall above it called the Control Tower. One day we scrambled up to the wall above but it didn’t inspire us and needless to say we didn’t bother going back. However, Mark did encourage me to try the sport route called Drop Zone at grade 24 being short, steep and pumpy and as I found out on rounded holds. I attempted the on-sight working through the reported crux lower wall with relative ease but the steepening finish had me gassed. At the third clip I pulled the rope through to clip, but fell before clipping. Unperturbed I went up again but wasn’t able to finish the route off to the anchors. Mark finished it off with style and then I top roped (yes top roped a sport route!) the line to get used to the final moves:

On that third day I didn’t do a pitch easier than 22 and needless to say I didn’t try to get the clean lead of Drop Zone clean. I was so wasted by the end of the day. Luckily we had decided that after three days we would have a rest day so the arms would be able to recover. However, with this steep stuff the thing is that it is not possible for your arms that work and you have no choice but to equally use your legs and abs to get the grunt work done. I can safely say I was aching all over. So for our rest day we had already decided to go for a walk in the morning and then head into Kalbarri to top up on ice. The scenery on the first stage of the walk was very reminiscent of our time in Alice Springs. The colours, vegetation and landscape brought back great memories:

We had decided to walk to a place called Four Ways, and had no idea of what the place was like. We were greeted after a 3km downhill walk to an incredible oasis, the waterhole was stunning and the ghost gums around it in full bloom with bees frantically buzzing about. There were a heap of walls and one of which was described as possibly being one of the best cliffs in Australia, so we got the guide out and had a look round to see what we thought. There were certainly some lines that looked inviting so we decided that we would come back one day if we managed to bag all the routes of interest at the other locations:

There seemed to be a bit more active birdlife in this area, what with sandy beaches, high trees and rocky perches there were plenty of places for them to roost and no doubt an abundance of fish to eat. Two Pacific Herons gave us an amazing show over the large water hole, chasing each other and at one time playing catch in the air. One of them dripping something and the other picking it up mid-flight:

We spent a good hour here walking all-round the water hole soaking in the beauty of the place while checking crags. We walked in from the gully to the right of the hill in this image and had decided we would walk upstream in the main gorge which would eventually take us back to the main climbing area and the Z-bends look out. This would allow us to check out all the small climbing locations that have been documented, and if they looked good we would consider visiting them with gear:

The rock formations along the walk were stunning, too many rooves to count and stunning wind and water shaped sculptures that towered on both sides of the gorge. No doubt a crumbling pile of choss but very beautiful to look at. It was a slow walk as we spent a lot of time sitting and admiring the place. We also kept hopping from one side of the gorge to the other to find the path of least resistance:

The sun felt hot today but it was yet again a comfortable temperature, and checking the weather it was the coolest day of the trip. I guess we spent more time in the sun on this day than any other, picking our places to stop and eat based on shade and scenery. The latter was never an issue everywhere you looked was impressive. We had timed out trip pretty well, this late in the season the temperature can soar but we had managed to get some reasonable temperatures. It was often 10-15 degrees hotter in the gorge than at Kalbarri town which is nestled on coastline. So my best guess is that the first five days here it was between the mid-twenties to low thirties, and having climbed only in the shade and cooled off in the waterholes regularly those temperatures had felt quite reasonable:

One of the sites at Kalbarri National Park that people go to see is Natures Window, we went there years back and it was nice. However, on this walk there was more rock architecture to admire than I have seen is a very long time including its own amazing windows. We kept an eye out for crags regularly referring to the old WA guide, The Crag and every new route that I could find on the WA climbing website. It was really hard to identify the crags and those that we think we got right we had to question why we would bother to make the effort to come back with the gear:

One of the big issues the rangers said they are dealing with was goats, we saw a heap of them and most times they had kids in tow. It was easy to see how they would thrive in this landscape with water, greenery and plenty of rocky crannies to hide in away from the watchful eyes of predators. One of the predators that I got super close to was a falcon. That said I’m not sure if it would go for a kid, but as we were rock hopping I was just about to step off a boulder when a falcon screeched and shot out from literally under my foot. It left behind a freshly decapitated water bird twice its size. Then circling above us not sounding very happy at all, needless to say we kept rock hopping leaving it to get back to its meal in its own good time:

We were also lucky to get to see the Pacific Herons numerous times on our walk, and it felt like they were following us. They seemed to be very playful always harassing each other, and putting on a great spectacle for us. I really wished at that point that I had taken my larger SLR camera, as with their speed it was hard to get any good clear shots of their antics on my point and shot. I did however capture this moment when one had landed on a boulder only to be knocked off by another one diving bombing it:

The gorge went on and on and on. We were not overly upset with that but it made figuring out where we were hard. At times we would get a tad stuck and needed to do some bouldering to get out of situations, the walk is not listed on the parks website or any info sheets. Not surprising really as there were some sections where we really did have to climb out and round. We did come across a bunch of inflatable boats and tubes stashed in a safe place which probably belonged to the local adventure company. It was tempting to take one and float through some sections but we supressed the urge and kept going on foot. If I ever come back I’ll do this walk again with a rubber tyre:

Some crags we were not sure if we really located, it could have been this or that but either way they still didn’t jump out at us as being worthy of attention. It felt like the sort of cragging that if this was your local crag would be worth doing just for the sake of it. But I can’t imagine that there are too many people who live that close to this place to make it so worthwhile. It was funny to think that people might visit Alice Springs and think that about a lot of the routes we set. That aside the walk was stunning and we were very pleased we made the effort:

We finally made it back to familiar terrain and then the Promenade, where we found two climbers from Geraldton – Ben and Andy. They were the only climbers we came across during the trip and I was finally able to get some different angles for the shots. We stopped here and had a chat and lunch, which usually comprised of sardines or tuna with a bit of salad. Andy is tackling She Magic and is at the lower crux, but they didn’t get past this point and the next day when we returned a quick draw was still hanging of the last fix hanger they had clipped. So we retrieved that and it has been sent back to them. When I keep saying the less steep 25s you can now get an idea of what that means:

We left them to battle on while we found a spot for a swim before the final leg of what turned out to be a 10km walk. That is as the crow flies so if you don’t take into account all the twists and turns we took. These pools were filled with fish and I would sit quietly on a rock and let them come to me, swimming very close and even under and over but never making contact. The rocks on either side were covered in a slim making getting in and out pretty sketchy at times, so we found spots to either jump in or where the ledges were not quite so dodgy:

The fish went up to a reasonable size and after a session on rock it was a good way to relax the mind and zone out. Watching them potter about in groups, each one comprising a mob of fish of a set size. These were probably the biggest we got to see maybe getting to a foot or so long. Sadly the weekend before we left for this trip I had dropped my camera and cracked the rear screen, so was unable to take any underwater shots:

Before we walked out we headed a bit further upstream to check out a few more climbing spots. A mixed bag of trad and sport but again the routes didn’t look inspiring other than one trad line, which we did come back for. At least we could safely say we checked out all the areas to make sure we didn’t miss any gems. The reason for the following image is purely because I like it and it shows some of the more bizarre rock formations here. No doubt a former sea bed covered in petrified worm castings or similar:

In the late afternoon we headed into Kalbarri, got ice and eggs and even stopped in the local bogan pub for a beer. Phone calls home were made and we hatched our plans for the coming days. It was agreed that the next day we would get back to The Promenade, we both had unfinished business there. Then we knew things would hot up and so we decided on an early walk back to Four Ways to check out the best couple of climbing spots there. So refreshed (somewhat) we went back to the campsite passing the not-unfamiliar sight of a tourist convoy heading out as we headed in:

On the walk-in on the fourth day of climbing we passed my nemesis Drop Zone. So I took Mark’s advice and too warm up I clipped the bolts and rested each time before checking out the moves. Then after a bit of a rest I jumped on and low and behold a 24 was in the bag! So full of energy and optimism we went back to The Pit. A long steep sport route call Crankshaft had been staring at us since day one, it follows the line of chalked up holds on the hanging wall and then over the roof left of the rope. It looked good and a bit unknown, so Mark went first taking on the crux with a powerful sequence and making it through. I went up next and tentatively tried his sequence but it was way too powerful for me, instead I worked out a different way and managed to flash the line. I was very happy as that was another 23 in the bag:

Mark then tackled and bagged the line to the right called Love Muscle, it looked like a lot of fun not being as steep as some of the other 26’s he had been on. So I jumped on top rope (yes it happened again) for this one. I managed to get just below the crux sequence before failing to hold on, a couple of meters above where Mark is at. It was good to try a route at this grade, but I confess to part dogging my way up the last sections still happy with what I managed:

We then went round to The Promenade and it was the usual story. Mark chewed up line after line and I continued to battle my routes, making it to the last bolt on all three of the lines but not managing to link the last cruxes to the anchors. For two of the 25s I worked the crux and was able to repeat it several times but just didn’t have the stamina to do the whole route in one go. Meanwhile, Mark got his Glass Slipper (29) on his second shot; flashed Look at the Bears (26) a traverse that took in other lines (hence the flash) and was also the route that pumped him out the most of all routes; and on-sighted Intimacy (27) with an impressive dyno half way along the roof:

Gross alert for the next image. There is one animal that I have not mentioned but deserves to be included as we saw so many of them – flies. It was impossible to get away from them and they seemed to love any cuts piling one, two and even three high over each other to get at the tasty meal. I was certainly getting pretty bashed up. The steep style of climbing was not completely foreign to me but it had been a very long time since I’d done it and I was far from proficient at it, so suffered the consequences much to the joy of these fellas. At times it would feel like they actually bit, not like a march fly can but certainly enough to make you start. Anyway in view of how much time I spent waving these guys away while belaying I thought I had to include at least one image of them:

Climbing day number four was as big if not bigger than day number three. So the rest day must have done its job, Mark had now climbed every route at the Promenade except one grade 28 that some people question as to whether it is harder than the 29. His expectations of this trip had been far exceeded. I too was pretty happy with a bag full of 23s and a couple of 24s under my belt, I hadn’t climbed like this since Alice some fifteen years back, and not surprisingly it had been Mark (and Pat) who had continued to push me back then. However, with another day of nothing less than 22 for me I was wearing down and also started to feel a twinge in my left arm telling me it was time to stop today. Below Mark is topping out on Intimacy and, not that you can see it, with a very big and deserved smile on his face:

On the walk out we finally got to see one of the little dragons that had so artfully dodged our ability to take an image. They are lightning fast and could sense our presence from way off. We also got to kind of see a bigger monitor that was on a tree, only noticing it as it darted super-fast for the safety of a crack in the rock. We had done pretty well on the animal count, even spying roos in the bush, Emus (with chicks) and euros in the gorge. The two animals that had however alluded us were the wallabies and snakes:

Day six, i.e. day five of climbing, and we knew the mercury would get high today so we were up and out before 6. As planned we aimed for Four Ways and within half an hour we were there. A quick scoot round to the climbing spots we had in mind. There littered all around were boulders that provided great feature, such as this petrified sea bed:

We proposed to start sensibly so I led a trad line on Mad Cow Wall. The bottom section was like soapstone and required care, with gear a little fiddly but sufficient. However, once off the soapy orange rock the more grippy brown rock provided a more secure feeling. Mad Cows and Englishmen felt a bit stiff for a 13 and felt it was equal to Keith Goes Blank, both in grade and quality. The decent was described as “walk right and jump down across a small gap”, more on that later. We decided to check out another line here to see if it was worth doing. The wall was a good 30m tall and fun, so we set up a rap station and went down to check the other line out and it looked good:

So I set off again and led Face Off a brilliant grade 16 climb that was so much fun. We left the rap set up for collection later and headed round the corner to try a couple of sport lines before it warmed up too much. Not before, however, Mark had spied this little critter who had seemingly died of natural causes. The rangers we saw on the next day said it could have been a Wollie as they had released some in the area but thought they had died out. We later checked it out and found it was a Mitchell’s hopping mouse:

The front face of The Coliseum is the largest wall in the area and described as being maybe one of the best crag in WA. It has three sport lines from 2003 and they all looked steep and hard. Mark offered me the first lead and seeing I had enjoyed my relaxed lower grade trad lines gave it a go. Dead Set Fair Dinkum at 24/5 had a beast of a start that was seriously steep and on small (for me holds). I felt nervous on this one and while trying it slipped a few times and never truly committed, and eventually backed off which was also in part due to the ferocious left arm crank aggravating my arm. I left Mark to try it and after working all the moves he made a clean ascent of the climb, coming down and indicating he had climbed 26s over east easier than that line:

Next up he tackled the grade 26 but he didn’t manage to complete It’s Not Rocket Surgery cleanly. The final exciting mantle to the lower off bolts had to be reveres as the bolt placements had been done such that it was recommended to down climb “to avoid rope damage on very sharp lip”. It didn’t seem sensible and instead he felt happy with what he had done, so we decided it was time to check out the route that had really caught our eye on our rest day walk. So while he sorted the gear I went to pull down our rap station off Mad Cow Wall only to find the “small gap” was a four meter wall and then there was another 2/3m wall to climb above that. What a palaver! We eventually scrambled with all our gear to Andromeda Wall which housed the very impressive grade 24 Andromeda Strain:

Mark went up and worked all the moves, cleaning a few holds as he went. He made remarks like what a bad hold, this is wet, there is so much sand.. all the kind of remarks that made me want to jump on lead – NOT. This 12m roof climb was stunning and is a classic but unfortunately was not for me today. After he had worked the moves, and we had an entertaining episode with tree on the ground in the image above (to sort out the rope work), he set off. Midway along he hesitated too long and failed to get the red point. With only one short hang he completed the line and then down climbed it to clean the route. It is the one route that in a way I am sad I didn’t have a go at but even now a week later that left arm still isn’t right so I think I made the right choice:

We sat in the cave taking in the breathtaking views and having lunch, it was getting hot. So we hoicked it back to the waterhole and swam for a while to cool down, soaked our tops and then hauled our sacks back up the hill in a searing heat. By 2pm we were back at camp and the mercury indicated 42 degrees. So we downed ice water but the heat was unbearable and the thought of going back down to the gorge to swim was inconceivable. It would be another four hours before the temperature would start to become reasonable so we had a decision to make:

We went with the plan of heading back into Kalbarri for some relief. As we drove out of the gorge the mercury followed the same pattern as the day before. Dropping some five degrees as we left the gorge and got up onto the plain and then dropping another ten degrees as we got to Kalbarri. We parked up by the coastline enjoying the sea breeze and enjoyed the feeling of life was seeping back into our bodies:

Then before we headed back we had a beer in the air conditions pub, that was so good that we had a second and made plans for the last day of climbing. It was forecast to get hotter by a degree or two and we knew that it would be unbearable in the afternoon. So we hatched a plan to have a half day and then start the journey back down south to split the long trip back into two stints. Before we could be tempted with more beer that would have left us stranded in Kalbarri unable to drive we headed back:

It was a slow drive back as we stopped numerous times to check out another echidna on the road side, some amazing grevilleas that were in bloom and a few of the other unusual plants. Then it was time for another meal, sort the packs for the next day and hit the sack as the last light of our final night of camping in Kalbarri slowly leaked away:

Next day (which also happened to be Lisa and my wedding anniversary) we packed up the camp and had the car all ready to roll for when we returned, figuring it would be hell if we tried to pack up in forty plus degrees. We headed down the tourist path to the gorge and went upstream to Phantom Wall where we had spied that good looking trad line. Wombat Amnesia was brilliant, good rock and gear and nicely consistent climbing, albeit only at grade 12 (not 15 as it had been recorded). Mark had a good shady belay and better still this 30m route ended at a gum that provided the perfect rap station to get back down. It was a good job as scrambling down the rocky gully would have been hot work as the sun already had bite in it and this place would soon be bathed in it:

We considered that this was the only line worthy of our time at that location so we walked up the gorge back to The Promenade. The air was still, so still that there wasn’t a ripple on the water. It was shaping up to be hot today and you could feel it, we hadn’t had a day like this before. The stillness did however give the opportunity for some great reflection images. After a quick few snaps I caught up with Mark, we didn’t want to hang about too much as walking in the sun was not pleasant:

For that reason we took the low level way in which required a bit of bouldering, but nothing too hard even with packs on. That did of course depend on how tired we were and as such over the days we had mixed up the path in and out between the top walk in the sun to the lower walk in the shade. Today the walk in was the lower way but coming back out we headed higher, as it was quicker and we were keen to get to that car:

Back at The Promenade and guess who was out to say hello to us. It was perfectly timed that for our last day a male Black Footed Rock Wallaby greeted us, and hung about to watch for a while. We then got down to business… Mark had the grade 28 Homophobia in sight and I wanted to work She Magic to see if I could bag one 25 and link all the moves. Neither of us managed it but neither were we upset with that. After three goes on my line I conceded that I was just getting more and more tired and sore. Mark worked all the moves and placed all the draws so it was looking hopefully. However, on his second attempt he mucked up by doing too many one arm pull ups on a 45 degree sloper while stuffing about with his footwork. Like he said, at least he has a reason to come back. So after one last swim and relaxing time while watching the fish swim around me we hoicked back out at double speed and jumped in the car to start the drive south:

By early evening we had set up the tent at Cervantes leaving less than 3hrs driving to get to Perth. We sorted through all the gear ready for the next day drop off at the airport and headed to the local bistro for a big dinner, washed down with a couple of beers. The cooler weather was a massive relief and in the morning after breakfast (with no kale!) we went for a walk along the beach to kill some time and do a bit of beachcombing:

There was work being done on the town’s power system and as such the whole town was without power. So no café and no shops open, which may not sound like a bad thing but the situation was compounded with Mark having used up all his ground coffee. So he had only had one coffee instead of the usual three to kick start the day. Luckily Betty had her coffee van just out of town so a photo was required of this life saving encounter:

We drove a short way south and turned off to check out The Pinnacles, a place I’ve wanted to get to for a long time. It had a surreal moonscape feel with limestone rock formation sticking out of the ground. There was a walk trail and also a drive track, so we plumped for the drive to start with but ended up stopping at most of the parking areas and getting out to walk round the eerie place. Most others kept driving but we were in awe of this spot and it was hard to not want to walk amongst them:

When you thought you had reached the edge of them there would be more stretching out into the distance, like an army of orcs marching to war in Middle Earth. We ended up spending a good two hours walking about, checking out the huge variation in pinnacles. Some towering three meters others a mere foot high, some tall and thin, others plump and fat and at every turn there was another section that encouraged us to walk that bit further:

We went right to the edges where they started to be surrounded by vegetation in the hope of seeing a roo, emu, lizard or bird in amongst these rocky features. But while there were plenty of signs of life we were not lucky enough to see any. We took way too many images and I could bore you senseless with them, but I really recommend that if you get the chance it’s worth a visit. Eventually we made a pact not to take any more images unless we saw wildlife on a pinnacle:

While this speeded our journey up Mark then spotted a couple of Galahs atop a pinnacle. We parked up and slowly made our way towards them, inching closer for fear of scaring them away. As we got closer they certainly noticed us but were more concerned with trying to scare us away. We discovered later that they probably had a nest in the pinnacle and when danger lurks the male flies off and darws the danger towards him to keep the female and nest safe:

He did a good job of that and we soon left them alone, heading out to the info centre before starting the last leg of the trip to the airport. We had decided that instead of taking the inland road which was faster, that we would take the more scenic Indian Ocean Drive. It had views of massive pure white sand dunes and more to see so it was a good choice. The cooking gear got one last work out as we cooked up a tasty lunch on the roadside, then just before 2pm I was dropping Mark off at the airport. I then made a quick getaway to get ahead of the work traffic and had an easy cruise home:

On the way to the airport we were lucky enough to see the final animal we had both been so keen to see, not quite in a natural setting but this super-fast brown (as it darted off the road to the brush) made our trip complete. It’s now been a week since I got back and last night I went for a boulder at Lou’s and can safely say I still feel sore and achy, so while I may not have kept up with the big man I’m super chuffed with what I achieved. I’m also and very thankful for all the raw energy and encouragement he gave me to get up that rock:

For those keen and interested, and I know some of you will be, below is the tally of routes excluding the multiple working attempts to get those red points; and if you asked me if Kalbarri was worth it… I’d have to agree with the Proclaimers and say:
But I would walk drive 500 miles
And I would walk drive 500 more
Just to be the man who walks drives a thousand miles
To fall down at your door off hard sport and scary trad climbs at Kalbarri
Yes it is, so go see for yourself.
| Tick list | Kalbarri Oct/Nov 2017 |
| Key | LOS – on sight LF – flash LRP – red point LI – incomplete/dog M – the big fella K – the little fella |
| Tue 24 Oct | Keith Goes Blank 15*** 2nd KL |
| Wed 25 Oct | 9-6=3* 15 KLOS Peanut Butter 19 MLOS (K2nd) The Rattler 22* KLOS & MLF Heavy Petting 23*** MLOS The Law is Fucked 25 MLOS Fuck the Law 25 MLRP(2) Root Canal 26*** MLOS Obscene Gesture 18 KLOS & MLF |
| Thu 26 Oct | Escalade 3837730 20 MLOS & KLF Feral Dog Boy 18*** MLOS (K2nd) Morning Poetry 17 KLI Tribal Monkeys 23* MLOS & KLF It’s a Boy 24* MLOS Fuck the Law 25 KLRP to last bolt at 22 Kalbarri Gold 26*** MLI She Magic 25** MLF to last bolt at 23 |
| Fri 27 Oct | Don’t go Splat(?) 22 MLOS (K2nd) Thrutching the Bison 23* MLOS & KLF Busting Down the Door 26*** MLRP Heavy Petting 23*** KLRP She Magic 25** MLRP Super Funky 25** MLF Glass Slipper 29*** MLI Drop Zone 24 MLF |
| Sat 28 Oct | 10km four ways and gorge walk – 7hrs |
| Sun 29 Oct | Drop Zone 24** KLRP Crankshaft 23*** MLOS, KLF Love Muscle 26** MLF (K2nd to headwall at 22) Glass Slipper 29*** MLRP Look at the Bears 26** MLF (K2nd to midway at 22) Super Funky 25** KLRP to last bolt at 24 + crux to top after rest Intimacy 27** MLOS |
| Mon 30 Oct | Mad Cows and Englishmen 13** KLOS Face Off 16*** KLOS Dead Set Fair Dinkum 25* MLRP It’s Not Rocket Science 26* MLI Andromeda Strain 24*** MLI |
| Tue 01 Nov | Wombat Amnesia 12*** KLOS Homophobia 28*** MLI She Magic 25*** KLRP to last bolt at 23 + crux to top after rest |
| Wed 02 Nov | Drive/walk round the surreal pinnacles |
One thought on “The Proclaimers”